I'm sure you can guess the levels of shock we are experiencing in our house after Thursday's ultrasound. For 3 days now, Dh & I have tried to reconcile our mental pics of this baby with the truth. And let me tell you, the truth was clear as water. And no, that's not an oblique reference to the many toxic liquid spills we have to look forward to over the next few years. Because let's face it people, boys and girls are different, but one is not harder than the other. Unless you are truly a misogynist or misandrist. Or you happen to only own a lilac bumbo and all pink/purple clothing from size 0 to size 14. Oh, and both children's bedrooms are decorated in purple cats and pink princesses. And you can't stop referring to said fetus in the feminine...
All this aside, I think my greatest fear will be how he is going to be treated. I worry endlessly that as the only son of an only son (Dh has only sisters), he will be spoiled and certain comments will be made that are denigrating to the four older sisters. Like what was said in stake conference today: "We have two girls, and finally had a boy. After all those girls, it was a relief to finally have a boy in the house!" Say it howyou mean it, brother--those sort of remarks may appear funny at the time, but are in fact seed for some of the negative cultural stereotypes that women continue to face. I'm already starting to see some of this in the comments people have made to me, the worst so far being, "Now you can stop having kids." As if I wasn't already satisfied with my four beautiful daughters. As if I needed to have a man-child for my life to be complete.
Before this starts to sound misandristic (vocab word for the day), let me assure you that it is going to bring forth good fruit. This is going to be a boy that can like boy stuff, AND girl stuff. He's going to respect men & women equally, and he's going to be sensitive. Heck, he may even end up being metro, but that will translate into: fabulous husband. Sort of like daddy... Okay, so those are just some of my goals. One thing is for sure--with 5 mothers running the house, he's going to be well-loved.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Wait, wait, don't tell me!
Posted by Maren Hansen at 9:48 PM
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6 comments:
As the fourth girl in my family that was then finally followed by a boy, all I have to say is make sure #4 gets LOTS of attention.
And we have lots of great pictures of him in girls clothing, he wanted to be like his sisters. I don't think it messed him up (too much).
I know so many people that have a million boys and when they finally have a girl they act the exact same way. It is almost weird in fact how many people I know that are top heavy with boys. I don't think there is anything wrong with being happy to finally have a boy. I'm excited to see what the masculine version of all your kids turns out to look like.
I'm sure I'm being too sensitive, but you would be too after all the comments, particularly from certain family members. (Not counting Dad and his machoism.)
Wow, what a surprise. Don't let those comments get to you. Some people say stupid stuff because they don't know how to just say, "congratulations".
No matter boy or girl, he's one lucky kid to go to your household.
Ditto with what Annie said! And thank you for using the word "man-child." :D Made my day.
Yay for the boy! I'm a little scared about having a boy because I was raised with mostly sisters, I have had girls so far, and I mostly have nieces. I'm also a little scared because I feel my mom did a great job on her girls and her boys need a little work. My other worry is that Tim will start treating his girls differently now that he has a son. He talks about being excited about taking his boy camping, hiking, fishing, ect... but his girls love doing those things with him too. I hope we too can raise a boy that that is a loving husband/father and a great contributor to society. Either way, for now I'm really excited to snuggle him and smell his sweet baby smell!
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