So Derek is wondering if I have anything scheduled tomorrow. Of course, I tell him to look at my calendar, and he's like, "oh, well, looks good. Oh, except you have your PERIOD tomorrow...ha ha ha" Now I know the vast majority of you are women, and can relate to this quandry: after years of charting my period (to get pregnant, make sure I'm not pregnant, etc, etc), it's just natural that the first thing I do after checking my backstock of Tampax is hit the calendar with a red pen. Doctors are always greeting you with, "When was the first day of your last menstrual period" and it's nice to keep the upcoming possibilities in mind when planning for, say, VALENTINE'S day... (Yes, I am having my period on the supposedly the most lovey day of the year. Sorry, Dh, there's just no control.) And as sweet and loving as Dh is, he is a guy, and guys don't understand. (no offense, sweetie) They've never had to plan their wardrobe around possible leaks (no light colored pants; don't forget a cardigan or fleece jacket around the waist for cover ups). They've never had to figure out a svelte way to stash a couple super-mega-extra-wide tampon in their pocket or purse, or worry that they may have forgotten to restock the supply in their backpack. Worst (in my opinion), they've never had that dripping sensation that haunts every menstruating woman, the one that sends you darting to the bathroom, only to find that 90% of the time, it was a phantom-limb experience. Or in this case, a phantom-drip experience.
Is this getting too graphic for you? Sorry for that. It's just that I've long hated my period, long, long before I even found out that I had stage IV endometriosis. It's such a drag having to plan your whole daily existence around... Well, I keep my spirits up by remembering that those same hormones give me taut, beautiful skin (ha, ha), bouncy, thick hair (double ha, ha), and child-bearing hips. Oh, wait, child-bearing hips aren't thought of as beautiful in this culture...
As I was looking for a "fun" picture to add to this post, I came across this beauty:
Tamponettes
And how about this one?
Tampon Crafts
And no, this is not an announcement. Just thought I'd share... :) Tune in next time for an update on the kids and hopefully some more witticisms (out of the mouth of babes material). Happy V-day folks!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Art of Being Womanly
Posted by Maren Hansen at 4:58 PM
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6 comments:
I don't know this woman.
Hilarious! I checked the craft link - whoa...heart earrings are a little over the top. I love the gun though, because at that time of the month I generally feel like I could use some ammunition against those around me. (:
Wow, I'm blushing! Graphic yes...but also cleaver and funny! One more reason to nurse as long as possible...that is if that keeps you from having a period. Next time I see you with a sweater around your waist I'm gonna know exactly what's going on.
I've always hated mine too, from the minute it started. None of that, "Oh joy, now I'm a woman." I even remember watching that funny Little House episode where Carolyn thinks she's pregnant but then realizes it's menopause and she's all bummed about not being fertile anymore. I just couldn't understand why anyone would not be excited about not having a period anymore (and that was before mine even started). I guess it doesn't help that I had cramps so bad they would make me faint and throw up. That went away after kids. Anyway, Maren, there's a vent for you....
What about never having to ask some random stranger if they happen to have an extra pad? That's one of my highlights.
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